What's All The Fuss About Roast Chicken?!

So this afternoon, I was bored and decided to cook a roast chicken for dinner. I have my own foolproof recipe for roasting chicken, but being a food geek, decided to Google for other ideas.

What I came across was an outstanding collection of different ideas and irrepressible food snobbery!

However, not one recipe or forum post that claimed to have unlocked the holy grail of roast chicken remembered to mention that when it comes to taste, there's a lot to be said about personal preference. My other half, for example, doesn't eat chicken skin so couldn't give a rat's ass about the best way to start the Maillard reaction (to be covered at a later date), he just wants succulent breast meat (ooh err missus!). I however, true to name, love a bit of crispy skin and believe a good gravy hides the sins of many a dry meat. C'mon people - cooking is for fun, is for family, is for friends. It's not for becoming a massive stress head if things don't turn out perfectly.

When it comes to roast chicken, I do lots of different things. I try to achieve crispy skin and a moist interior (insert dirty laugh here). I'll approach each section separately to provide you with your own arsenal. The most important thing to remember when you are trying to achieve your perfect roast chicken, is that it is your perfect roast chicken, and the way you like it best is the best way for you. Don't let anyone else on the interweb tell you otherwise!

Right, to the breast of the matter (fnar fnar).

The Chicken:

It must be free-range, corn-fed, wild-roaming, have been given weekly acupuncture for stress relief, have had a name, lived in a 4 bedroom detached house close enough to greenbelt to have not been affected by pollution and be a breed older than 600 million years. Oh, and not forgetting that it must have been bought at your local village butchers. If you don't live in a village, you're not entitled to roast dinners.

My arse. While animal welfare is extremely important to me, and the thought of battery chickens really "grinds my gears", you should buy whatever kind of chicken you can afford. Today, for me it was a chicken from my local Co-Op (and only because the trip to Aldi would have cost more in petrol than what I saved in price). It cost me four quid, and will feed two of us for two meals, with the bones for stock. If you can afford to buy Dotty, who has been hand reared by a specially trained chicken whisperer, go for it, but if you can't, it won't wreck your dinner.

Prepare your chicken!

• Take off the packaging and bin (the packaging, not the chicken)
• To wash or not to wash - it's entirely up to you. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
• Pat dry with paper towels
• Wash hands and all surfaces touched by raw chicken (the only acceptable cause of vomiting is a hangover).

Moist Meat:

There are several different methods I use, all of which are determined solely by how much effort I can be bothered to go to. These all have a fairly similar level of success individually, but don't seem to stack up to IMMENSE chicken if you combine them. (They do stack up to immense cholesterol levels if you stack them up though, so be warned!) .

All of these methods start with a vegetable trivet (posh name for a layer of vegetables like carrots and onions spread around the bottom of the roasting pan which prevents the meat sticking to the base and also lets heat circulate more freely through the underneath of the bird).

• Lemon up the bum - either halved and shoved in, or microwaved for 30 seconds, then pricked and shoved in (this is the arse cavity, not the neck)
• Bacon - crossed over the breasts and one piece cut in half over each leg, removed for the last half hour of cooking
• Stock (or wine, depending on finances and whether stress levels are low enough to prevent imbibing) - pour about a centimetre of stock/white wine into the bottom of the pan which creates steam as you roast. Stock cubes, stock pots, fresh stock, whatever you have to hand. There's no judgement here.
• Buttered breasts - use your finger or the back of a spoon to separate the skin from the breast meat. Start at the cavity and lift the skin, pushing a finger underneath. You'll feel it yield but not rip. Work your finger in as far as you can, waggling it from side to side to separate as much as you can. You'll have to do each breast independently. Push some softened butter into the gap you have created and push it around. This bastes the breast meat from inside while the chicken cooks
• Butter - again, more butter. Rub butter all over the chicken skin, including the nooks and crannies where the thighs and wings are attached
• Resting - always, without fail, leave any meat for a minimum of ten minutes before carving to let the juices absorb back into the meat. Cover it with foil and it will stay warm. 

I've never been bothered to roast a chicken breast side down for moistness, because I can never be arsed to turn it back halfway through cooking. Bit too fiddly for me. Which is also why I've never bothered with brining. Many swear by it, but planning more than 3 hours in advance is a no go area for me.

Crispy Skin:

The highlight for many is the papery thin, golden and crisp skin of a roast chicken. I've seen methods that include using a blowtorch at the end of cooking to achieve this, but if you're going to go to that extreme, you might as well get out a soldering iron and use it to brand your name onto the flesh.

• Salt - before you touch the chicken with anything else, salt the skin and leave it for a few minutes. This draws out moisture in the skin which is what prevents it getting crispy
• Butter - more butter (can you see a recurring theme here?). Again, rubbed all over will provide a golden hue
• High heat - whether it is at the start or the end of your cooking process, you need that heat to get the skin crisp. Think of it like a sun tan - you're not going to get one of those in Inverness. 
• Olive oil - if butter is not your thing, give your bird a liberal sprinkling of oil
• More salt - once you've buttered or oiled her up, salt again.

Flavour:

If you're going to use Dotty (mentioned above), you might prefer to let the flavour of the chicken shine through and not adulterate it with anything else. For me though, it is thyme, garlic and lemon. Lots of flavours work with chicken, and you can pick anything you like. Just remember that whatever you use to flavour your chicken will also flavour your gravy. Herbs, citrus fruit, spices - if you like it, put it on (or in!).

• In the cavity - add it to the cavity of the chicken and it will flavour the meat from the inside as it cooks. Onions, lemons, oranges, limes, thyme, rosemary, sage, basil and garlic all work well. Just wang it in
• Under the skin - if you're using the butter under the skin technique mentioned above, add your flavourings to it before pushing it in
• In the roasting tin - carrots, onions, garlic - whatever you want your gravy to taste like, put it in the tin 

Cooking Times:

A high heat will create a crispy skin. A low heat will create moist meat. What on earth are we to do? Decide what you prefer and go with that. My gas oven is about as predictable as Anglian Water's drought warning system, so I've become used to it's quirks. No fan assist for me, I tend to go for the combination technique and start off at max for fifteen minutes, turn it down to around gas mark 6, then back up for the last fifteen minutes. When it comes to cooking times, go with what's on the pack (shock horror!). If you've bought Dotty, go with 20 minutes per 450g, plus another 10-20 minutes.

Get used to what cooked chicken looks and feels like - use a skewer to pierce the thigh and push against it. The juices which come running out should be clear, any hint of red and chuck it back in for another ten minutes.

Finishing Touches:

As I mentioned earlier, rest your bird for a minimum of ten minutes before carving. When it comes to carving, I always make an arse up of it. If you want to have perfect slices, give YouTube a go, but by the point I'm ready to carve, I just want to eat it, rather than be on YouTube. 

Enjoy it. It's your chicken. You've cooked it. You've put the effort (although sometimes minimal) in. It's designed to be enjoyed, not to be stressed over. Use whatever combination takes your fancy. Sometimes it will be perfect, sometimes it won't, but you'll always be proud of the end result.